Sunday, September 20, 2009

Contemplating Life

Hello, long lost blog. I spent part of today, this beautiful, relaxing, Sunday - contemplating life and trying to figure it out. I made a schedule for our family. It involves getting the girls up at 6:30 so we have time for brushing teeth, making beds, and even practicing the piano for 15 minutes each. The after school schedule involves the kids unpacking their lunches and backpacks right as we walk in the door and *gasp* even hanging them up on the hooks where they belong. I even scheduled free time, because, especially after a long day of school - I like to give them, and they really NEED an hour of good play time, unobstructed by a "let's get things done" Mom.
But the thing I'm struggling with is this, what good is the schedule if I drive myself nuts (and my family) trying to force everyone to follow it? Yes, they are all good things on the schedule. But why am I the only one who cares about it???? (Not counting Mike, who does care about important things like scriptures and prayer, FHE, and family fun night) I just am struggling to teach my kids the value of hard work. Maybe it's because I don't work them hard enough??? Maybe it's because life is just to easy for them? If I am all grumpy because we aren't on schedule, or even remotely close to on schedule, should I have one at all? But to me that's like saying "I'm not going to set any goals because it's too hard to keep them." I don't know. Just thinking out loud. And not looking forward to dragging the girls out of bed in the morning.
I've been reading a lot of zenhabits.com - my favorite blog and another new blog by the author - mnmlist.com about minimalistic living. About doing less. About enjoying the moment. I loved this part of an article I read:

Inspiration lives in the present
There is an amazing short video with Brother David Steindle-Rast – a Christian monk. As a boy, he experienced the last years of World War II in Germany. He tells of great hardships: never knowing where the next meal would come from, having to queue for hours for a small pitcher of water, and seeing bombs fall all around him.

Would you be anxious in a situation like this?

Surprisingly, Brother David wasn’t anxious – his experience was completely the opposite: it was one of the happiest times in his life! How could that be? His explanation is quite simple. Because there seemed no possibility of survival and no hope for the future, all he could do was to be in the present moment. This created a deep sense of happiness – in the midst of all that suffering.


Back to me - I want to live in the now with a deep sense of peace and happiness. Not sure how to do that. I am making some little goals for myself, like meditating. Like enjoying each moment. I am laying with my girls for 10 min. each at bedtime. That's my gift to them and to me and to their childhood. I want to enjoy those moments with them. A Schedule is good. Being happy is better. Organization is good. That brings peace of mind.

I'll end with a favorite quote, something I really am working on: “Be Content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” - Lao Tzu

4 comments:

Arien said...

Give it some time....can't wait to see you guys at Christmas. We really miss you.

Anonymous said...

Girl, you amaze me! You are such a go-getter and we all have a hard time keeping up with you!

I've learned with Sara that you don't see what you've taught them until they're a little older and you see how they handle situations and you think "She learned that from me! I did teach her something!" You're a great mom! and I love it that you are always thinking of ways to do things better and with more joy.

Trishelle said...

Jen, I totally agree with The Alaska Girl about your amazingness! You already enjoy the moments and teach other people to do the same. I really miss you. You teach me how to find humor and happiness in every situation.

Two talks came to mind while reading your thought:

"Provident Providers" by Elder Hales and "Good, Better, Best" by Elder Oaks. While Hales talk is primarily about monetary resources, it could totally be applied to our resource of time.

You really are wonderful!

Jen said...

Thanks for your thoughts and compliments girlfriends!
Trishelle - "Good, Better, Best" is one of my favorite talks! Can't wait for conference this weekend. And I'm remembering your animated expression and excited voice when you said to me one time, "I'm soooo excited, I just got the new conference Ensign in the mail and can't wait to read it!" Love ya!